


They could be happy

by Melime



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, Community: femslashficlets, F/F, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 20:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10861890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: They could be happy, but they wouldn’t be.





	They could be happy

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [Elas poderiam ser felizes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10861896) by [Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime%20GreenLeaf)



> Written for the [femslashficlets](http://femslashficlets.dreamwidth.org/) community, challenge #074 - happily/unhappily ever after.

They could be happy.

There was an end in sight, something so rare in wars, and even more so in a blight. How many of her predecessors had an opportunity such as this? They could end this, saving countless lives in the process, and walk away from everything.

They could be happy, walk away together in the sunset, like the sort of thing that only happened in stories.

She and Leliana could find a nice, quiet village to live in. And they would get bored within a month, and go out looking for adventures, because that was just the kind of people they were. Neither was truly made for a peaceful life, but having the alternative to live like this was surely a temptation. After all, they could still keep a nice little cottage as a refuge, a place to go back to in between the many adventures they would sure have.

They could be happy, together, for the rest of their lives.

And they wouldn’t be.

Neria tried, she really tried to make a different choice. There were alternatives, after all, the one thing she couldn’t claim was that she had no choice, and yet… she didn’t have a choice. Not really. Not one she could make.

She wasn’t very used to the idea of freewill, during most of her life having a choice meant deciding which book to pick up in what little free time she had. The first time she actually had a say in something was when she rejected that demon’s suggestion, which even then wasn’t much of a choice, since she would have been quickly destroyed if she had chosen differently.

Then there was the whole situation with Jowan, that proved she wasn’t good at making choices. She would have betted her life on Jowan’s innocence, and in a way, she did, only to find out she was wrong. If she had told on him, none of this would have happened, and she would never have been forced to become a Grey Warden, and then she would have died in the Circle, either when the disaster happened, or one day far in the future, and either way, it didn’t make a difference.

She still wasn’t exactly sure what to think of what had happened in the Circle. When she first left, it was as if she was finally free, but now she wondered if she had simply traded a cage for a leash. It was still a good trade, she got to travel and see the world and make a difference, but there was no denying that she was trapped, by her blood of all things, and that she was being used as a tool just as she would have been once her training in the Circle was over.

And then Warden Duncan died and Alistair proved to be all too willing to take someone else’s lead, and suddenly she had to make all the decisions, knowing that there were lives in the balance, but not knowing what was the right thing to do.

Sometimes, she made mistakes. And sometimes, she got to correct them in time. Learning how to think for herself, and for others, was a work in process, and a skill she would probably not have the time to develop properly.

She hadn’t told Leliana yet. Who could she? Leliana was the best choice she ever made. After everything she had been through in the hands of humans, things she could barely remember from before the Circle, and the Templar’s attitudes, even her own fellow mages when human, she never thought she could love a human, especially one who wasn’t a mage. It was a simple matter of self-preservation, more often than not they saw her as a monster, or less than them somehow, so she kept her distance, only ever connecting with a couple human mages while in the Circle.

But Leliana was different. Leliana didn’t fear her, or thought of her as someone inferior. Leliana never made her feel like she was less than anyone else, or that she had something to prove. With Leliana, she could just be.

It was the happiest she had ever been, despite the blight and the responsibility and the very real possibility that not all of them might survive this. She had friends, she had a girlfriend who made her feel loved and cared for, and she even had a dog who was better than most people she knew. Everything was turning to chaos and people were dying, but she was happier than she had been when in the relative safety of the Circle.

She was happy and Leliana was happy and they could be happy, after all of this was over, but they wouldn’t be.

Morrigan explained to her what the alternatives were, when it came to stopping the Archdemon. A Grey Warden had to kill it, and then either die, or have the spirit pass on to a child by performing a dark ritual. Which meant she had to choose between dying, sending Alistair to his death, or convincing him and Morrigan to sleep together when neither of them desired that, and then forcing a child to live with a power they couldn’t even begin to understand. It wasn’t much of a choice, when it came to it.

Neria was many things, but she wasn’t a coward, and she couldn’t send someone else to die in her place. Alistair would do it, if she asked, she was sure of it, the same way she was sure he would sleep with Morrigan if Neria was the one asking. But it wasn’t fair to ask either of those things of him, so there was really only one choice left.

Neria would have to die. Saving countless lives, but leaving Leliana alone. It wasn’t fair either, but it was the lesser evil. She never really thought she would get a happy ending for all of this anyway.

They could be happy, but they wouldn’t be.


End file.
